Betwean the two of us

I've been absent from blogging for so long that I thought I'd make it up to readers by posting twice in one day! A two-fer! That is, if you want to read about weaning. If not, you might want to scroll down and look at the pics of handsome Henry some more.

Henry and I have recently reached a new milestone in our relationship: weaning. He's been transitioning to formula for more feedings each day, and will soon be completely formula-fed in addition to his solid foods. While I'd originally thought it would be nice to continue nursing him through one year of age, it just seemed like the time for weaning came sooner. I had a lot of reasons for making the decision, and I feel good about it. I'm also glad that I've decided to make the transition gradually. I think it's been easier both physically and emotionally to slowly change what has been a huge component of my life as a mother. Because while it might seem like a simple, potentially liberating change, it's really a lot more complicated than that. Breastfeeding certainly gets easier with time, but it is still essentially a huge investment in resources. A woman's own bodily resources, her emotional presence, her time. Not to mention the whole dairy debacle that spanned several months for me. When I consider the hours spent nursing Henry, every day of every week of every month of his life, it feels like a pretty monumental shift. But here we are, shifting. And I think we're both handling it well. I was a little concerned that Henry would ask to nurse more by signing or tugging at me or communicating this desire in some other non-verbal way, but he hasn't seemed to mind. As for me? Well, it makes me a little sad. I know that I will continue to be close to Henry in many other ways, but there's a closeness and nurturance that I think is unique to the relationship between a nursing mother and her child. I'll miss that.

Acknowledging the sadness and putting it aside, there is a large part of me that feels like hallelujah I am getting my body back to myself! Afterall, I was pregnant for 9+ months and nursing for 10 months. That's kind of long time to be sustaining another human being. And I feel like this may be a brief window of time before starting the cycle again. No need to get excited right now folks, but there will (hopefully) be another member of the little g-unit at some point in the future, and for me that will mean more pregnancy/nursing. I've been happy to do it, it's a joy to have a child and to have nurtured him in that way. But, the time has come to bid that relationship adieu. Now I can go wild. I can drink martinis. I can stop taking vitamins. I can be apart from my child with the knowledge that he won't starve. The opportunities are endless!

And speaking of endless, so are the bottles that you have to clean when you're not exclusively nursing. My goodness, the bottles! Is this what I really want? Yes. Yes, it is. And I feel thankful that I've been able to nurse Henry as long as I wanted to, and to make this decision for and between the two of us.